Have you noticed how many people complain about the dumbest shit? Louis C.K had a skit about this topic that was dead on – picking on those of us who bitch about having horrible cellphone service as the main example. He made this comment, “YOU HAVE A PHONE. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE, HOW FUCKING INCREDIBLE IT IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO SEND A QUICK MESSAGE TO SOMEONE IS PRESS A BUTTON?! AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING THAT YOU HATE VERIZON OR YOU HATE YOUR PHONE BECAUSE IT DOESN’T RECEIVE MESSAGES OR ALERT YOU WHEN YOU GET A PHONE CALL? WHAT THE FUCK!”. Something along those lines anyway. You get the point.
Without further-ado, here is the POTS edition of “First World Problems”:
10) Damn, I fainted when I got home from being out and about all day. I guess I over did it when I went to the gym!
– What’s wrong with this? You can afford a gym membership! Yes, people with POTS and other chronic illnesses have to listen to our bodies more than the average person, but at least most of us can afford to over do it at a gym.
9) Ugh, this is the second time I’ve fallen down the stairs today.
– WELL SHIT, IT’S NOT THE STAIRS FAULT. Most people, even some here in the United States, can’t afford a home with more than one story, which tend to have stairs in them.
8) *calls parent/sibling/some other person* Hey, my legs just gave out on me and I can’t walk or crawl. I’m stuck on the floor. Can you help me?
– The average person HAS legs. It’s really rare for people to have missing limbs, whether they were amputated from a bad medical condition, blown off at war or playing with fireworks, or just born without them, they can actually complain about limb issues. Yes, almost all POTS patients have incredibly painful leg problems, but at least we have legs to complain about!
7) There are, like, zero foods in my house that have a decent amount of salt in them..guess I’ll have to take a stupid salt tablet..
– But, you HAVE food, right? Do you realize just how many Americans DON’T have food? How many people around the world who DON’T have food? I think that they deserve to complain about not having enough food in their homes, with or without a high amount of salt. Salt tablets…most people don’t use salt or need it, but us people with POTS need an incredibly high amount of salt to help our kidneys, our heart function, and keep our blood nice and thick!
6) My bedroom is so hot, I can’t regulate my body temperature. These clothes aren’t helping, either, even though they are light weight and a tank top with shorts!
– Boo freaking hoo! Your room is hot! How about some of the people suffering in countries like Africa that are ALWAYS hot and don’t even have the luxury to complain about a room? I mean, they might have a room, but not even close to yours.
5) Ugh, another doctor appointment. This is getting old!
– Shut up! You can afford to go to a doctor and get care for your issues.
4) *alarm goes off* I hate drinking water.
– Oh, don’t get me started. You’re bitching about drinking water!? You’re BORED of drinking WATER!?! Go give it to someone who actually wants the damn stuff.
3) I hate being so sick that I can’t get out of bed to pee in my toilet in my bathroom in my house!
– Oh, geeze. You’re tired of being in a bed that you clearly don’t deserve? Of peeing in an actual toilet instead of on the ground or in a bucket? IN A HOME!?! Shut up and enjoy your privilege. Billions of other people would be happy to be pissing in a toilet. In a home. After being in a bed. Just saying.
2) Mom/dad/husband/wife!! I’m out of bladder pads – can you grab me some more? God, I hate having to use these..oh, no! I’m in urinary retention! BUT CATHETERIZING HURTSSSSSSSSSSS
– Know how I used to get through having to use bladder pads because I pissed my pants all the time? I told myself that I was LUCKY and BLESSED to even be using bladder pads and not using a pee bag, which I’ve also used, and catheters. I got my head out of my ass and realized, “well, crap. This sucks but at least my parents can afford to pay for the medical care I get, which also taught me how to self-catheterize when I needed it.” Key words, I CAN AFFORD IT!
And, last but not least,
1) Patient: “Oh, God..Dysautonomia/POTS? Are you sure?”
Doctor: “Unfortunately, yes. I’m very sorry.”
Patient: “Well, what are the treatments? What can I do to help me feel better?”
Doctor: “There aren’t that many treatments, I’m afraid. I’d like you to drink at least 3 liters of water a day and get some salt tablets. Take two in the morning and two at night, cut them in half if you need to, and take them with food so you don’t get sick. Try and get as much exercise as you can, but be aware of what your body is telling you – if you feel tired, please rest.”
Patient: “This is the worst thing to happen to anyone EVERRRR!!!
– *rolls my eyes* I’ve been there, but really? What a horrible way to think! You could have been diagnosed with so many other diseases that are 20x worse than POTS or whatever version of Dysautonomia you have! You could have a terminal disease, which POTS, most of the time, is not, at least not that I’m aware of. You could have cancer! Or, like, a staph infection or a flesh eating disease. At least you can afford to get a diagnoses, even when they aren’t good. POTS isn’t good news, but it’s a hell of a lot better than some of the other diseases out there that you could have, but probably don’t.
Well, there you have it – 10 first world problems experienced by POTS patients! I hope you enjoyed this, I had fun writing it.
Have a wonderful day, thank you to the people who actually read my other blog and the new follower I have! It means a lot 🙂 ❤